I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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