let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
