Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We left an ass print on the piano.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
