Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
