Don't make out with my wife yet
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
