I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
