oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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