Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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