if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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