Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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