Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
