i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
