I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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