i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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