Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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