Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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