you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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