Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
