We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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