I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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