What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
