...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
