He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
