i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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