Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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