i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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