covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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