I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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