Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
