Dual....:-)
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
