I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
