How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
