but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
