yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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