if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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