Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
