I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
