We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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