She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
