Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
