My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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