no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
