So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
