I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
