oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
