I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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