if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Randomize
