Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I want her autograph on my taint
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
