ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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