dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
