Your tits are I can't wait for
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
