my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
